A Day in the Life of a Fat Cat

Posted: August 17, 2012 in General
Tags: , ,

When I was younger, I always wanted a pet. A cat. A dog. Heck, I would’ve settled for a lizard for all I cared.

But we’ve been renting homes since I was little, and often we weren’t allowed to have pets. Then, finally, when I was in my senior year of high school, I finally got the courage to ask our land lords if they’d reconsider. All I wanted was a cat. S/he would be fixed and declawed. We’d pick him/her up from a rescue center. Any damage would be fixed at our own expense.

Well, I was pretty convincing. (And adorable.) They caved and we got Molly.

Puss and boots. Geddit!?

Unfortunately, Molly and I don’t often see eye to eye (more on that later). We’re sort of like siblings. I’m the older one that picks on her all the time. She’s the younger one that runs to mommy to tell on me. She’s definitely the favorite.


But either way, I still love her and it’d break my heart if she wasn’t around anymore. Plus, she’s sort of part of the family now. I guess I’m stuck with her.

Now, the first thing you need to know about Molly is that she’s fat. I mean, really fat. She weighs in at 16 pounds.

Not the most lady-like of positions, but this is how she likes to relax.

Now, before anyone grabs their pitchforks, I swear she came to us like that! She hasn’t gained a pound since we’ve gotten her. She doesn’t even eat a lot, actually. She’s just not a very active cat. She’s super lazy.

Case and point.

She gets mad if she doesn’t have her box lid to lay in. And if you forget to put it up on the bed? Whoaaa, buddy. She will not stop meowing until you do!

Another favorite roost is this one. She loves hanging out on top of the recliner. And if she tries to get up there while you’re sitting in it? Well, hold on! She doesn’t mind rocking the boat…

She’s also very picky. She doesn’t eat chicken, steak, or any of the normal things that cats go for. You know what she does like? Doughnuts. Coffee. Bread. Butter. Cheese. The only normal thing she eats besides her dry cat food is tuna. But don’t worry, we don’t give her a lot of that other stuff because she has a sensitive stomach.

But one this she does love is…catnip! She gets a little frisky sometimes, but mostly she just lays around looking stoned, like this:

You just can’t deny that this is a beautiful picture. Money shot right here. (Not to toot my own horn or anything…)

And like any good sister, I find my own ways to torment her. 🙂

This blog post brought to you by Office Max…

  1. Lovely, lovely, lovely! 🙂 🙂 Just beautiful…too beautiful for words. 🙂

  2. ddog13 says:

    For a person who does not like cats at all, the first picture made my night. Haha. If I ever had a cat forced upon me I would want it to be that one. I hope that’s not weird. Haha 🙂

  3. ddog13 says:

    It’s just because the cat is so…portly…It’s kind of adorable.

  4. S. J. Maylee says:

    Thanks for sharing. I begged and begged my parents for a cat and finally got one, although she never liked me 😦 In college I got another, she was a mankoon, long hair and fat or boy, she got to be 20 pounds. She was more like a dog than a cat. She’d fetch thrown balls. Her favorite day was when I’d change my bed sheets, she loved getting under the fitted sheet. Oh, and she loved popcorn. Thanks for the memory lane.

    • Karen Rought says:

      Molly only likes me when it’s convenient for her, LOL. My grandma had a cat that was more like a dog. His name was Charlie Brown and he used to follow me everywhere!

  5. Julie Glover says:

    Love it! I’m a cat person too. I have two cats inside and one that I’ve fed, named, and cared for outside (is he stray? is he mine?).

  6. Molly’s not fat, she’s self-satisfied! 🙂

    My wife and I once had a cat. Went away to Thailand for 3 weeks, making arrangements to have the cat looked after – even got a demand feeder for cat biscuits, to show we cared. Came back to find a very complacent creature approximately the size of a pillow, who could barely get through the cat door. Turned out that the person we’d got to come in and feed our little glutton kept putting out the regular cat food, AND topping up the demand feeder whenever it was empty. Which happened twice daily. The cat was extremely pleased with that idea, but when we got back, Miss Corpulence went on a strict diet for a while, which didn’t suit her as far as she was concerned – we were very poor servants – but it was either that or end up with a Pooh Bear experience in the cat door.

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