ROW80 – R1C8

Posted: February 19, 2012 in ROW80
Tags: , , , , , ,

If you’re here for some inspiration or happy updates, I’d politely suggest moving on. This is going to get messy…

This past week I’ve pretty much done nothing. I’ve felt overwhelmed and under-inspired, and it has really taken a toll on me. You see…I’m a perfectionist. I hate getting behind, I hate not getting things done, and I hate letting myself down. It’s hard, but I’m going to wipe the slate clean and start from square one again. It isn’t what I want to do, but I think it’s the only thing that will keep me from going crazy. (The bad kind of crazy, not the good crazy that comes with being a writer.)

So, let me tell you what I have done this week.

I wrote once, on Sunday, and haven’t written more than a single paragraph since then. I have edited the first five chapters of the second novel in my series that I’m currently working on. I usually don’t edit until the story is finished, but I realized that I had left out some important details, so I wanted to go back and add them in before I forgot about them.

I’ve also blogged all this week. Like I mentioned before, blogging is becoming one of the things I most look forward to. I had the guest post for Debra on Monday, my own post on Wednesday, and a guest post from Jess on Friday. It was a light week for me because of the guest posts (which was nice considering my mood). I’ve already written up several more posts, and now I just have to decide what order I want them to appear in.

I’ve also picked up a physical novel and started reading it. (It’s called Eon and it’s pretty good so far.) I think this is what has been missing from my life recently. Reading a book brings me such happiness, yet I’ve been too busy to do it lately. I’ve read other books, but I’ve also been critiquing them. Don’t get me wrong – I love critiquing, but it is a lot of work. It’s nice to just escape into a world so completely that you can forget where you actually are.

Also, for you guys who are keeping up, you’ll be happy to hear I did find another beta reader. Whoo!

I’m forgetting about how “behind” I am on my goals and I’m just starting over. Below you can find my new goals. They’re more general and they’re going to leave me more room to do what I feel like doing, rather than feeling like I have to do something. I still consider writing my second job, but I also still want it to be fun. I’m just going to give myself a little more leeway so that it remains fun.

  1. Go on at least three times a week. I’ve paid for a subscription, and I need to start using it. I’m not limiting myself to a certain time frame because it makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious. (The same kind of feelings that I felt when I was trying to find grad schools to go to. It doesn’t bring back good memories.) I’m going to work on this when I can, to the best of my ability. The more and more I’ve been looking around, the more and more I’m being drawn toward self-publishing. I still want to give this site (and the idea of an agent/publisher) a chance, though.
  2. Write at least four days a week. Again, I’m not going to tell myself it has to be for a certain amount of time – although I probably will still do some one hour writing sprints, since they seem to work pretty well. My WIP is my main focus, but I’ve been feeling some poems and short stories blossoming inside me, too. They’re a good break from a complicated novel, and I want to give them a chance to be written.
  3. Exercise five days a week. I’m giving myself weekends off. Exercising every day is great and all, but I’m growing to hate it and I don’t want that to happen. I’m also not weighing myself every day. (I weigh myself on the Wii Fit Plus game, which likes you to check in every day.) I’ve never cared about my weight all that much, and I’ve been starting to worry and get consumed by the idea of having to lose weight. It’s not something I want to control me. So, I’ll check in once a week instead, on Sundays.
  4. Read every day. This can include blogs, novels, and manuscripts that I’m critiquing. There’s no limit to how little or how much, or what I end up getting done in a single day. My primary focus is going to be on the books that are here on my shelves, but I do want to read other things, too. If I only end up getting to the blogs that I like to read, then I’m telling myself that’s okay.
  5. Blog at least three times a week, not including my ROW80 updates. This one isn’t changing, because even when I wanted to do nothing else, I wanted to blog and interact with you guys. 🙂

(Also, this is my 50th blog post. Cool!)

  1. I know that when I’ve had a rough week, I have to force myself to concentrate on what I DID do, and not on what I didn’t do. Even that takes work, but can help.

    I can empathize with the reading – all week long I just wanted to sit down and crack open a book. I’m not sure why, but it didn’t happen. And I missed it so so much!

    Hopefully we can both fit in some reading time, and I wish you a smoother week ahead!

    Marie 🙂

    • Karen Rought says:

      I can’t even begin to describe how much better I feel now that I’ve cracked open that book. Somehow I’m happier, more relaxed, more focused. It’s a great feeling and I hope you get a chance to do the same thing. Thanks for commenting!

  2. Natasha says:

    Great to hear about your beta reader…For me its hard to find someone to trust with my work.. You say behind but honestly that’s a lot you accomplished!! But I get it.. there are things that you normally do and the things you set aside to get done…your goals. I hope you have a better week!

    • Karen Rought says:

      Natasha, I feel the same way, but I’ve gotten to know some of these people pretty well. I do trust them, and I honestly don’t foresee a problem. I would have major jitters if I just threw my work to the wind for everyone to read, though (pre-publishing, I mean).

      I was just as surprised to realize that I did get some things done this week. It made me feel even better about my decision to rewrite my goals. Thanks for the encouragement and the comment. 🙂

  3. Hooray for starting over! I’m all over that one! And I do know your perfectionist pain. I know it well. But you did get your blogging done and guest post. That was great. And you found another beta reader. These are wonderful things that happened for you last week. Today is the start of a brand new week! Make it a good one and I’ll see you soon! 🙂

  4. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. My last two weeks have just…well…sucked! I have some great excuses, both weeks have had full week night things going on that seems to burn up all my energy and motivation but WHAT is with my booking all that stuff. Lord. Talk about it.
    Love the wipe the slate clean attitude and I am totally adopting that. Here’s to a GREAT week ahead with NO looking back and NO guilt!
    LOVE the new goals and I have no doubt you will rock em’ out this week. Woot woot!
    I hear ya on blogging…it rocks and CONGRATS on your 50th post!!! Fahhhbulous…

    • Karen Rought says:

      Natalie, you always know how to make me feel awesome. Thanks for that. Yes, no guilt for me! I’m trying my hardest to just let go and start over. So far it’s actually working. Here’s to both of us and an awesome week ahead!!

  5. KM Huber says:

    Writing sprints really got me back into writing, after a long absence. Like you, I stayed away from word counts and am writing full-time in my own way. As for exercise, I only exercise if I enjoy it, and the older I get, that still works. I bet things will turn around this week as you’ve cleared the air. Good luck!

    • Karen Rought says:

      Thanks for the comment! I didn’t even want to sit down yesterday and write, but I forced myself to. Once I did, I wrote for over an hour. It’s amazing how far just taking that initial step will get you. I agree on the exercising – I can only exercise by playing DDR or Just Dance on my Wii. It’s the only thing that keeps my interest.

  6. Good job moving forward despite your mood. I understand how things can get overwhelming.

    I also love the physical book. I have to dust off one of the many brand new novels that I havent gotten through yet!

    Keep up the good work and have an awesome week.

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