How to turn a bad guy into a good guy, with Damon Salvatore

Here’s the next post in this series where I discuss TV shows and movies and the knowledge that we can gain from watching them. We can apply that knowledge to our writing. As always, I never pretend to be an expert. I just like exploring my own thoughts on the matter as I write these blog posts! I welcome all comments and would love to hear what you think about this topic.

Make sure you check out my previous post, titled, “How to write a dynamic character arc, with Caroline Forbes.”

It’s been a couple of months since I’ve written anything in this series, but it’s always been one of the more popular ones, and I figured I should probably get back into it! Not only is it fun to discuss our favorite characters and see how their stories can relate to our own writing, but I really just have a good time talking about them in general.

Especially Damon Salvatore.

See, I figured something else out. You guys like it when I talk about Damon. He is consistently (I may as well just use the world “always” here) the top search term people use to find my blog. The previous post I wrote about him (“How to write about guilt, with Damon Salvatore”) was the first post in this series, and still gets hits each and every day.

And, hey. Who am I to argue with statistics?

Besides. Just look at him.

Damon is, of course, one half of the Salvatore brothers on The Vampire Diaries. When we first meet him, Damon is not a good guy. He kills people without remorse. He revels in the fact that he’s a vampire. He manipulates people. And he does everything he can to steal Elena away from Stephan, just to get one up on him.

But here’s the thing. Damon slowly becomes a good guy. We’re into the fourth season now, and he’s still not quite there. Sure, he’s loads better than he was back in season 1, but he still messes up. He still goes out of his way to annoy people. He still tries to take Elena away from Stefan. Except now he’s not doing it to get one up on his brother. Now he’s doing it because he loves Elena.

Now he cares about her.

And that’s the key. You can turn any bad character into a good character by giving them something to care about. It doesn’t matter what they’ve done in their past, as long as they’re willing to change and as long as they feel remorse. For Damon, the catalyst to his change was Elena.

It happened subtly. You saw him stop trying to manipulate her. You saw him (mostly) stop killing people. You saw him do things or not do things because he knew what she would say if she knew what he was up to. You saw him start actively being a better person, because he knew it was what she wanted (even if she didn’t know it yet herself!).

And in our writing, these subtleties must also be present. Girls love the bad boy, and I’ve read plenty of books with an MC like this. But the change can’t happen all at once. For most of these tragic, damaged characters, they’ve been living their lives like this for years. Most likely since they were kids.

I’m sorry, but no girl is going to make a guy drop his personality and change at a moment’s notice just because he has feelings for her. He’s going to screw up. And he’s going to keep screwing up. And he’s going to screw up again, until he figures out that he actually wants to change because it’s not only the best for the person he’s in love with, but also for himself.

It’s a beautiful story arc for any character – guy or girl. Damon is a perfect example of it because he’s still not all the way there. He’s not Stefan, not someone who automatically thinks of others and tries to do the best thing for everyone just because it happens to be the best thing for everyone. Damon isn’t as selfish as he once was, but he often doesn’t care what happens to a majority of the other characters, so long as Elena is okay.

He’s flawed, but he’s allowed to be. He should be. You don’t go from being a merciless vampire who doesn’t respect pretty much any human life to a fuzzy bunny of a vampire overnight. Life doesn’t work that way, and art is an imitation of life. We must reflect the flawed, complex, contradictory nature of humans (or vampires!) in our writing in order for it to be realistic.

Is your MC a bad guy (or girl) gone good? How did you pull it off? Do you like the new Damon, or did you like him better in season 1?

Kill Your TV

Myndi Shaffer wrote up a wonderful post about Barbie and her influences on little girls. Everyone knows the fact that Barbie’s dimensions are beyond unrealistic – so much so that Barbie would be anorexic if she were real. But Myndi had a good point:. Barbie has taught us about fashion and dressing up and just being a GIRL. I love that message. Rock on.

However, one of the facts she posted about Barbie really caught my attention:  *Slumber Party Barbie was introduced in 1965 and came with a bathroom scale permanently set at 110 lbs with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight” with directions inside stating simply “Don’t eat.”

Um, WHAT? In my mind that is absolutely disgusting. Not funny at all. (Was it meant to be?)

I commented on her blog with my reaction, but I didn’t want to stop there. I started to get agitated, and then I got angry. This definitely required a blog post.

I grew up playing with Barbie. I also grew up playing with cars in the dirt. I flopped between tomboy and regular girl, comfortable in both spheres. I’m still that way. I never, ever gave a second thought to what Barbie looked like and if I should try to imitate her size. You know what made me doubt my image?

Television.

Here’s a challenge for you. Sit down and watch just one hour of TV. Count all of the commercials geared toward women and see how many compare to those that are just general advertisements. You want some extra credit? Take a look at how men are portrayed in most commercials compared to women.

Who wants wrinkles? Those unnatural little beasts. Look twenty when you’re really seventy-five!

Guys will love you more if you have longer, fuller eyelashes.

Hate your muffin top? Don’t bother buying new jeans that ACTUALLY fit! All you need is bone crushing spanks. Bonus points if they’re so tight you lose your appetite!

I mean, REALLY. How ridiculous does that sound when you think about it? And I’m not bashing on makeup or creams or shapers (goodness knows I could use that last one). And I’m definitely not bashing on Myndi’s post, because it’s beautiful and wonderful and perfect. (Seriously, go read it. And take part in her little picture submission thing.)

What I’m bashing on is television.

It’s unfortunate, but kids learn a lot from TV and movies. I know I did. I was lucky enough, though, that my parents instilled a lot of good qualities and morals in me. I could watch R-rated movies and not bat an eye. They never affected me because I knew that was not reality and that I wasn’t allowed to do those things (ie. sex, drugs, swearing, violently murdering the cat, etc., etc.).

No wonder girls these days have a complex. Our society is obsessed with body image. And it hurts everyone. It hurts the girl, physically. It hurts the parents when they think they did something wrong. It hurts the little sister that wants to emulate her older sibling. It hurts the husband who can’t help his wife. It hurts the daughter who thinks that living an obsessive lifestyle is normal.

But this goes way beyond just us girls and our body image. I often find myself being surprised when a married couple has a healthy relationship with their spouse. That’s such a sad reaction, in my eyes. Yes, divorce rates are through the roof right now, but why should we assume that all relationships are terrible? Oh, that’s right. We have things like The Bachelor and Jersey Shore to show us what “real” relationships are like. Kids, teens, and young adults (and unfortunately some “mature” adults) think these situations are real or normal. If they become accustomed to that way of thinking, they’re going to start to emulate it whether they realize it or not.

Isn’t it time we took the garbage off the air? I think it has had its fifteen minutes of fame.

I had a teacher in high school who had a sticker on the front of his desk that read, “Kill Your TV.” One day he explained why he had it. He said that he was walking through the mall with his young son when he saw a friend of his – a Muslim friend. The guy was dressed traditionally and was wearing a turban. They chatted for a few minutes and then parted ways. My teacher’s son tugged on his father’s shirt sleeve and said:

“Daddy, airplanes.”

Yes. Go kill your TV.

I Turned Out Okay…

Those passing vehicles in Ireland are so full of anger.

So, I follow a lot of people on Twitter. Well, not a lot…but over 200. One of them is @OMGFacts. They tweet great facts and always have an interesting story to back up each one. A week or two ago they tweeted this:

“The Power Rangers were banned in New Zealand until 2011, despite the fact that the show is filmed there!” (This was because of the violence.)

And then not long after that…

“The Power Rangers were censored in Malaysia, because censors thought it would get kids addicted to drugs!” (This was because the word “Morphin’” in “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” was too close to “morphine.”)

So, this got me thinking. There are a lot of things individuals and groups like the Parents Television Council are slamming lately: TV shows, video games, movies, music. Is this new? No, absolutely not. But that’s precisely what got my gears turning.

I watched Charmed when I was younger – there are episodes where Prue, Phoebe, Piper, and Paige all have sex with their boyfriends (or, sometimes just strangers. Or demons. Or demon strangers. Even demon boyfriends.)

I played, and watched my cousin play, all sorts of video games. Donkey Kong was a favorite. So was Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. But he also played a lot of James Bond and Mortal Kombat. James Bond is full of criminal activity – on each level you have to shoot and kill all sorts of bad guys, steal things, blow things up. But it is nothing compared to Mortal Kombat. Did you know there’s a cheat to turn up the blood graphics? Yep, there is. I’m pretty sure a human body doesn’t hold that much blood, let alone get up and start fighting again. Pretty awesome.

And movies! My mom never told me I couldn’t watch a certain movie – mainly because I already filtered through them myself. I never watched horror (I’m a wimp) and I rarely watched a thriller (I’m a BIG wimp, actually). But I’d watch a lot of action movies and comedies.

Lastly, music. If I had headphones in my ears, chances are I was listening to Eminem. (And when it comes to today…chances are I’m still listening to him.) My favorite kind of music is rap, though pop is right up there with it. And don’t get me started on music videos – Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Eminem, Lil Jon. They’re all full of explicit imagery.

My point?

*shrugs* I think I turned out okay.

I don’t have rampant sex with strangers (or demons). I don’t have intense urges to put fifty rounds through the body of a random person on the street. I don’t have strange desires to jack cars and blow up buildings. And I definitely don’t believe in promoting domestic abuse, murder, or rape.

The thing is, the more you hold a kid back, the more they want to rush forward. Teenagers are rebellious in nature. That is never going to change. You have to teach them maturity, and the only way to do that is to expose them to a subject matter and explain it to them. Honestly, they’re going to be exposed to sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll (actually, rap might be the rock n’ roll of our age, but it doesn’t sound as good) by the time they hit middle school anyway. Trust me. The school bus is an orgy of rumors and hormones.

So, instead of trying to keep them innocent forever, I suggest getting to them before anyone else does. When a borderline-panic-inducing subject (like sex, *gasp!*) comes up in a TV show (I’m thinking about Glee here), take the time to explain your expectations of them. Should they do it? Probably not. Will they do it? Maybe. Talk to them about the dangers and set some guidelines – not the 20 foot high castle walls with accompanying moats of lava, rickety draw bridges, and starving dragons type of guidelines, though. Kids, believe it or not, respect their parents if the parents take the time to earn it. They’re not going to want to disappoint you.

Now, I realize that there is a difference in being your child’s friend and your child’s parent. I definitely get that. I think there should be rules – curfews, computer monitoring, parental supervision – but you can’t smother your child. It will back fire. I’ve seen it enough times to know that is absolutely true.

I wasn’t smothered as a child. I was expected to make decisions that could have consequences. I chose to be responsible and I think I was a pretty good kid. And that pretty good kid turned into a pretty good adult.

The bottom line is this: TV, video games, movies, and music do NOT turn a good kid into a bad kid. Poor parenting does. These things can be contributing factors, but they are not sole reason why your child suddenly decided to murder the neighbor’s cat. (And if he really did that, please be responsible and send him to a professional. I’ve watched enough Criminal Minds to know that it’s a precursor to some more serious problems.) I’ve seen perfectly good kids knock down the toughest baddie Mortal Kombat can throw at them, and bad kids that have never picked up a controller in their life. If they’ve got issues, it lies much deeper than what they’re seeing on screen.