The Short Version

I’m sure all of you writers out there can relate to the following (hypothetical, albeit truthful) conversation:

                Friend/Family Member/Stranger:  What’s your ideal job? What do you want to do when you “grow up”?

                Me: I want to be a novelist!

                Them: Oh? That sounds interesting. Have you actually written anything?

                Me: Of course. I’ve finished writing a novel. I’m in the editing stages now.

                Them: What’s it about?

                Me: Uhh…

The truth is this question always catches me off guard. Obviously I know what my own novel is about; perhaps I know it too well. How am I supposed to whittle down the plotline into a few discernable sentences that don’t make me sound deranged?

I know my characters inside and out. I know what happens from beginning to end, and I know what parts are important. That is, I know what parts are important to me. I think that’s why it is so hard to break down my story and sum it up: I go on and on about things that I feel are important to know, but really I’m just talking in circles and the person is suddenly regretting asking me this question.

So, my usual answer is this:

Me: Short version? It’s about Native Americans who can turn into animals.

Lame. Even I think that sounds cheesy and overused and boring. There’s no detail, there’s nothing there to make them even the slightest bit interested in wanting to eventually read it. But that’s the easier answer for me. I’m still shy about my writing, and terribly afraid that if I do explain my story right, they’ll gently pat me on the shoulder and signal someone to call a mental institution.

(That’s me entirely overreacting, obviously. But I’m sure you can all relate – a lot of people don’t take us writers seriously.)

When I was in college, my professor told me to write a three sentence summary of my story for her to look at before she read it. Absolutely no more than three sentences. That was an incredibly difficult thing to write. But, when I got done with it, I imagined it being on the inside jacket of my book when it’s all shiny and published. Just enough information to get the reader interested, but not quite enough that they can figure out how it will end.

But, of course, I’ve lost it.

So, please tell me: what do you say when you get asked this question? Would it do well to have a little summary memorized for occasions such as these? Do you find that when you try to explain your novel or your idea for a story, people start to look at you out of the corner of their eyes? (Or is that just me hallucinating?)

I Believe an Introduction is in Order…

I’ve been here before. I’ve sat in this very seat, staring at this very screen, writing these very sentences. (Well, not these sentences, but something akin to them.)

Writing a blog has occurred to me on more than one occasion. I even tried it out once. It lasted through about a dozen posts before I scrapped it. I had decided I didn’t like talking to thin air. It wasn’t very responsive.

So, what changed? A lot of things. But, for one, I don’t care anymore. I’ll talk to thin air if that’s the only thing that will listen to me. I’m pent up with too many opinions not to let them out along one avenue or another. My friends and family can’t sit through anymore lectures about characterization or writing styles or plot holes (I’m looking at you, Glee…).

And, secondly, I want to be published. Like, bad. Like, I-don’t-think-I-can-live-my-life-knowing-I-haven’t-tried-every-possible-thing-to-get-noticed bad. As corny as it sounds, I know this is what I was born to do. I’m not asking for fame or fortune, but maybe just a small following. I just want to know that what I have in my head ends up on paper and that someday someone will read it and be as lost in that world as I was. I want to impact people.

I’m a midnight novelist. I like to write in dimly lit rooms when everyone else is asleep and the only things that are moving outside are the twinkling stars and a family of raccoons. If that doesn’t work, I’ll settle for some overcast weather and a bit of rain. I love to write. I always have. I’ve moved up from those single paragraph “stories” into my three-hundred-plus page novel. My writing skills have changed (thank God), but I haven’t. I still love writing about what I like reading about – fantasy, magic, adventure.

I’m hoping this blog lasts. I’ve got plenty to write about – books, movies, TV shows, life, and writing, always writing. I think it’ll make it – sometimes I have hunches about these things. Even if my biggest fan is the empty air, at least I’m writing. That’s what’s important.