When I was younger, I always wanted a pet. A cat. A dog. Heck, I would’ve settled for a lizard for all I cared.
But we’ve been renting homes since I was little, and often we weren’t allowed to have pets. Then, finally, when I was in my senior year of high school, I finally got the courage to ask our land lords if they’d reconsider. All I wanted was a cat. S/he would be fixed and declawed. We’d pick him/her up from a rescue center. Any damage would be fixed at our own expense.
Well, I was pretty convincing. (And adorable.) They caved and we got Molly.
Unfortunately, Molly and I don’t often see eye to eye (more on that later). We’re sort of like siblings. I’m the older one that picks on her all the time. She’s the younger one that runs to mommy to tell on me. She’s definitely the favorite.
But either way, I still love her and it’d break my heart if she wasn’t around anymore. Plus, she’s sort of part of the family now. I guess I’m stuck with her.
Now, the first thing you need to know about Molly is that she’s fat. I mean, really fat. She weighs in at 16 pounds.
Now, before anyone grabs their pitchforks, I swear she came to us like that! She hasn’t gained a pound since we’ve gotten her. She doesn’t even eat a lot, actually. She’s just not a very active cat. She’s super lazy.
Case and point.
She gets mad if she doesn’t have her box lid to lay in. And if you forget to put it up on the bed? Whoaaa, buddy. She will not stop meowing until you do!
Another favorite roost is this one. She loves hanging out on top of the recliner. And if she tries to get up there while you’re sitting in it? Well, hold on! She doesn’t mind rocking the boat…
She’s also very picky. She doesn’t eat chicken, steak, or any of the normal things that cats go for. You know what she does like? Doughnuts. Coffee. Bread. Butter. Cheese. The only normal thing she eats besides her dry cat food is tuna. But don’t worry, we don’t give her a lot of that other stuff because she has a sensitive stomach.
But one this she does love is…catnip! She gets a little frisky sometimes, but mostly she just lays around looking stoned, like this:
And like any good sister, I find my own ways to torment her.
This blog post brought to you by Office Max…